I have been thinking about my one word for next year. I didn’t do a very good job with my word for 2013 – Health and do still need to work on improving my health habits. However, I don’t want to keep the same word, so I had settled on Space as my word for 2014.
I want to finally finish my space – the loft where I have been slowly clearing stuff out and thinking of how to set up for my purposes. I want to make space in my closets, on my shelves, in my project containers and elsewhere. I want to create space in my schedule for creative pursuits, for reading, for self-care activities and family. I want to create a space that is peaceful, loving and restorative for my family to come home to.
Then I started reading what other people were doing and now another word is popping into my head – Love. To act/live with love – to love myself(and my many faults/shortcomings) and to interact with others from a place of love.
I think I will stick with Space but try to include Love as I go about my days this coming year. We’ll see how it goes. I’m looking forward to making some changes, moving forward and accomplishing some long overdue goals. What’s your word for 2014? I’d love to hear your plans for the new year.
Measure up Monday – how am I doing on my goals
I found another sheet of book titles I needed to add to my list. I have now read 349 books on my way to my goal of 1500 before I turn 60. To keep me on track I need to read 128 books per year which is certainly doable. For next year, I’m thinking about a goal of 150 books. I’d like to read 50 from my stockpile of books, 50 from the wishlist I created at the library and the last 50 could be books I learn about or a mix of the first two categories. We’ll see how it goes.
This is not a typical post – I need to get some thoughts out and this will be an unedited, perhaps rambling post – more for my benefit than anything else.
For the first time our family has been personally touched by suicide. We’ve seen the stories in the news, even heard of a few from our city but this is someone my daughter knew so it is completely different. It is so hard to know what to do with the things I’m thinking and feeling although not as hard as trying to figure out what to do or say to my girl. My girl has always felt herself to be an outsider whether at home, with her cousins, at school or at church, she often feel like no one really gets her. Last week she met a guy at a get together with a friend’s family. They hit it off, she felt very comfortable with him and wanted to see more of him. She came and asked but upon hearing that he is 19(she just turned 16), I said no. She continued to text and call but they agreed to cool things since her parents were not really happy about the age difference.
Then comes the news that he committed suicide. She had known that he had some struggles – had taken a year off to decide what to do with his life but didn’t know the full extent of what had gone on in his life before he had made that decision. So it turns out that 6 years ago his older brother had committed suicide and he found him. He suffered from depression and who knows what else since then.
My heart goes out to that family – what a horrible thing to have happen. My heart goes out to all teenagers who feel that their only course of action is to end it all. I wish they could truly understand that things can get better and that there is hope for better things. I want so much to share this with my DD but it is hard to know what to say to her – she doesn’t easily share her feelings and I don’t want to push or crowd her. She knows I am here for her but that doesn’t feel like it is enough.
I feel so bad for this young man but at the same time I am angry. It seems like such a selfish thing to do – which of course is fairly typical of teenagers – not to consider how it will affect others. Not to consider how others will go over and over what they did or didn’t do that might have made a difference to him. I don’t mean to blame him, it’s just that I just don’t get how people think that this will solve anything- well I get that they think they will hurt no more but what about the people who love them and all the people that may have been touched by them. It is just a big loss for everyone concerned. We all miss out on what could have been.
This just makes me want to hug every child I know and tell them that they are special, they are important and they mean so much to the people who know and love them.
Okay, I haven’t done one of these for awhile. Let me think about what I’ve done lately. I stepped away from the constant monitoring and worrying about weight gain/loss and haven’t been doing any regularly scheduled stuff. Then there was the summer of Lyme Disease. As I got my energy back, I started doing some yoga and very minimal body weight type exercises.
Then we joined a gym and I started swimming. I have been enjoying the swims – I’m up to a total of 500 meters in 30 minutes. Right now I just go once across the pool(25 meters) then rest before doing it again. I’d like to start going for 50 meters/rest and see how I do. I haven’t been lately so I may need to stick with the old stuff before trying this new idea. Although I have a tendency to not push myself so maybe I should try to do the new goal. I need to serious about getting there at least once a week – I do feel good once I’m done but it is a struggle some days to get there.
I did get down to my goal weight but it has gone up again with the holiday related eating. I’m not stressing about it but I am trying to not going overboard with eating treats. I need to practice moderation. I will never be able to completely give up sweets but I can choose to limit myself and truly enjoy what I do choose to eat.
I am thinking about trying to do the 5 million step challenge again. Walking is relaxation, meditation, exercise and a form of self-care for me and I have missed it. I have actually been researching the Fitbit as a tool to help me reach that goal. Hopefully it will work better than the pedometers I’ve used in the past.
I need to head out to do some Christmas shopping so I’ll close for now. Have a great day.
Measure Up Monday – How am I doing on my goals?
1. Pack up all the yard sale stuff and have it picked up by a charity – made a start on this and got 7 boxes of stuff out the door and on a truck to charity
2. Sort, organize and store my fabric
3. Go through the year to date tax receipts and get them organized – have all my receipts in one place, just need to get them organized by category, organized
4. Create a master list of to dos
Well, November was not a productive month. I did get one goal completely done but the other 3 still have a long way to go. I’m not setting any goals other than Christmas related stuff this month. That will be enough to keep me busy. I will be trying to think of some things to shoot for next year but I’m not going to stress about it. What gets done gets done and if I’m setting 2014 goals when I go on retreat mid-January that will be okay with me. I’m going to try and enjoy the rest of this year.