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Archive for October, 2014

This is a unedited rant that I just need to get out of my head. I will probably not look at it after I’ve finished it, so please  forgive any spelling mistakes, grammatical errors and the like. Thanks!

So. I’m feeling overwhelmed, angry, frustrated, disappointed – just so many negative emotions lately. Things are starting to slide down again and I want to stop it but just feel so overwhelmed and unable to take that first step. I know what I should, even need to be doing and yet I keep choosing something else. What is it that makes me do such self-destructive things??

Let me name just a few of the things on my plate…

-teenage daughter who borrows things and does not return them  – says she did but case in point – library books. According to her, she returned 2 books  but the library says only one was returned; I could understand if both were showing as not returned but since one is and one isn’t, I’m not really believing her and I hate that I don’t believe her but experience has shown me that she can’t always be trusted

-teenage daughter who uses things without permission and does not return them or denies having them and later they are found in her possession

-husband who does not approve of my parenting methods but does not have any ideas of what to do differently

-children who do not clean their dishes after eating leading to ants in the kitchen and everywhere else they decide to sneak food

-son who seems to only be able to do something if it involves hundreds of things(crayons, legos, paper, cards, books) which he is then unable to clean up when he is done

-husband who thinks I need to be more active and complains about it

-worrying about my dad who is getting to be too old to be living in his house without some kind of help and because of this is dealing with a bedbug infestation lasting several months now

-worrying about my sister who because she lives close ends up being the one who has to deal with our father’s problems while she has problems of her own to cope with

-feeling stupid for not making sure that the bedbug thing was completely gone before spending a weekend there

-feeling guilty because I took my son to visit his grandfather and now he is covered in hives due to an allergic reaction to numerous bed bug bites and will be needing serious meds

-feeling angry with myself for not doing productive work but still sitting in front of the computer instead of doing anything else

-dreading the weekend because I do not want to be around my family

OKAY – enough of that it is time to try to do something constructive for a change. Off to do one small thing to move me forward instead being stuck in neutral.

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Tidbit Tuesday

Just another installment of the random thoughts rolling around in my head…

Tomorrow starts the annual 31 Days of posting that I have been reading for several years now. I participated for the first time last year. I thought about participating this year but I’m just not up to it. I’ll just read along this year and try not to add too many things to my “I want to try …” list.

I had a nice visit with my sister and my dad last weekend. I wish they didn’t live so far away especially now that he is starting to slow down. The house is too much for him but he isn’t ready to give it up yet.

The weather has been great – I should have been out in the garden but I haven’t been. Tomorrow is Bible study and work so maybe I’ll try for Thursday.

Still haven’t updated my goals for the year, should add that to the to do list.

So much to do and so little desire to do any of it. Could use a shot of motivation with a chaser of action to go with it. Hope you are getting more done than I am.

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