Just another WordPress.com weblog

UPDATE

January did not go as well as I had hoped. I did do a good job of getting rid of things and am on track to get rid of at least 300 things this year.  however I did not do so well with following through on the other goals. I did create the morning list for the boy but was inconsistent in making sure that he did all the tasks. Something I’m trying to do better with this month.

At the beginning of January I wanted to be off the computer and in bed at certain times at least 90% of the month. I should have checked my chart before posting that because I would have seen that there was no way I could have accomplished it by the time I  wrote the post. I managed to get off the computer only 51% of the time. I did a bit better with bedtime -managing to be in bed for 64%.

February is not looking to be much better on the sleep front. I’ve had some rough times with the boy and instead of getting to bed on time I’ve been reading, playing computer games and/or following rabbit trails across the internet. I need to do better but it is such a struggle. We’ll see how things go for the rest of the month.

 

 

Advertisements

Yet another fresh start

So, it has been awhile since I’ve been in this space – the past two years have brought a lot of changes to my life. I haven’t taken the time to post for a variety of reasons. The major ones being – trying to deal with the changes in my life and being discouraged by those changes.

When I was last in this space, I had recently lost my father, found out that my daughter was pregnant, started a part-time job and was not happy with my situation. Since that time there have been some other major changes – going through the passing of my father-in-law(which brought up memories of my dad’s passing), the birth of my first grandchild,  changes in my son’s behaviors/attitudes and trying to come to terms with my job situation and the stresses it brought to our marriage and family. There were times when I thought about writing but it never seemed to happen.

Part of the problem was that I never knew where to begin – should I try to catch up on what has been happening or just start fresh. Then I started reading the posts from the beginning and got very discouraged. It seemed like no progress had been made – I keep wanting to start something but the follow through is poor or nonexistent. I know there has been some progress but it feels like I’ve been stuck in the same place, still dissatisfied and yet not doing anything to get myself out of that place.

However, I am at a point where changes need to be made. I’m no longer willing to have my future look like my past. I am committing to do the work. I am committing to getting back on track when things go wrong instead of giving up. I’m not sure what my future will look like but I am committed to working towards a better one.

I am going to be looking very carefully at the things, people and activities in my life to decide if they work for me. I’ve read/heard several times lately an idea that has taken root. It is that you need to get rid of the stuff that doesn’t work for you because it either speaks to the person you think you should be or to the person you think you want to be instead of the person you actually are.

To that end one of my year long goals is to remove at least 300 things/people/activities from my life. The other year long goal is to work on preparing my son for life on his own. He is in high school now and needs to be prepared to head off to college/trade school/work and be able to manage himself and his activities.  Then each month I will have one mini goal as well. For January it is to get back to a good sleep routine. I have let things slide and it isn’t good. I know that being well rested is a keystone habit for me and I need to strengthen my routines and habits in this area.

My action steps for this month are as follows:

1.  Get rid of the stuff that has been gathered and sitting in the house waiting to be dropped off or collected

2.  Commit to getting off the computer by 10 pm and into bed by 10:30 pm -shooting for at least 90% this month

3.  Creating a morning checklist of tasks M needs to do before school and work on him getting them done

Wow, this has turned into quite a long post. I should go back and check for errors but I’m out of time and want to get this posted. Hopefully there aren’t too many mistakes.

Stupid Tax

“Stupid Tax”  is a term I first heard while listening to Dave Ramsey. As I recall, it refers to money you’ve paid out because you did something stupid. I just paid what is hopefully the last installment of stupid tax as it applies to my daughter’s first car. Last year was the beginning of this sad saga. We traveled about an hour so she could buy a 1998 Dodge Neon that needed work – it ran but it needed work. She had an insurance quote but that wasn’t acceptable so I ended up agreeing to put the car in my name and have the title transferred to her at a later date. That was the first stupid decision. I didn’t want to have to drive back out there again so I signed the title.

Then there was the drama of thinking it was stolen only to discover that it had been “borrowed” and now needed a new tire and the moon roof fixed  plus the original work still needed done. But of course there was no money for all of that. The car sat under my carport for months while my car sat out in the weather unprotected. Second stupid decision. Third stupid decision – should have turned in the plates and taken the car off of our insurance after several months of nonuse but instead just kept on paying the insurance.

Finally tell my daughter that she needs to do something or I will give it to charity. She says she is going to get a new tire. I check into donating the car but am discouraged by the scams and the need to actually do something outside of my comfort zone.  A month and a half go by and  my husband decides to get her a tire so she can drive herself to his shop since he gave her a job there. Ongoing bad decision – I still haven’t transferred the title into her name.

Again she gets a flat tire plus somehow the driver’s  side mirror gets hit and  ends up hanging down. She decides to get another car and leaves the neon parked outside of a friend’s house. Says she may sell it to another friend or perhaps donate it.  Then life hits me with my father’s illness and death. Time goes by and I realize that she isn’t going to do anything and I have to. I want to get it done before it needs a new registration but I dither around and take too long.

I needed to go get  information  for the cash for junk car people  and asked her to go with me because I knew  she needed to get stuff out of the car. She said she was going the next day so of course I put off going to see  about it because she could get the information for me and I didn’t want to go out of my comfort zone. She forgets to get one necessary piece of information but assures me her friend will get it for us.  I don’t hear from her so I decide to just go get it myself. I drive out there only to discover the car is not there! Start wondering  – was  it stolen?? Probably not, it had the flat tire and wasn’t in the best shape who would steal it? Did it get towed because it was thought to be abandoned? Did she actually do something with it? Call her – of course no answer. Text and then wait and wait. Finally she texts back that she meant to call because it got towed.

Made several calls(way out of my comfort zone as I have a serious phone phobia) without finding out exactly what happened to the car. Ended up at the police station since no one answered the phone – I didn’t call 911 because I didn’t think that was an appropriate reason to call them. I don’t have GPS or a smart phone so I check the computer for directions and head out. It wants me to go the wrong way on a one way street and then I can’t find a place to park. Then since it is a small town there wasn’t actually an officer available and I  had to wait awhile. The officer knew exactly which car it was and directed me to a tow station in the next borough.

Finally make it to the garage and he tells me that it would probably cost me more to pay the fines and storage costs and have someone tow it out of there than what the junk car dealer would give me. I was ready to be done with the whole thing so I end up paying for the tow, he takes off the storage fees and I sign over the car. Hopefully that is the last bit of time, money and energy I’ll have to put into that car. Oh no, not the last – I still have to call the insurance company and take the car off the insurance. UGH!

Still Struggling

Have been trying to develop a new schedule to work around my part time job but so far it has not been working out. Mostly because I still have a bad attitude about the job. I know that it is way past time for me to “put on my big girl panties” and get on with my life but I just don’t want to! I feel guilty saying that because I know that I have been truly blessed to have been able to stay home for so long and it is no one’s fault but my own that I did not make better use of that time. I look at other women I know who didn’t/don’t have the choices I’ve had/have and I realize that I have no room to complain and yet I still do – ugh! Need to get my mind off what I wish I could have and focus on the blessings I do have because I do have many blessings.

Had the boy to the ER again – I do not know how it happened. Well actually I do know what happened, I just don’t understand how it happened. His foot got hit by a door and his toenail got bent back. It was very painful but thankfully nothing was broken. The doctor just bent the nail back down and that was it.  Seems to be healing okay.

I took a fall/slide down the stairs – I was trying to shut the door while simultaneous not step on the cat and missed the step. Since I was wearing  socks, I just started to slide and I tried to stop myself by grabbing the railing. As a result, I have a sore arm from my shoulder to my elbow and a lovely red/blue/purple bruise covering half of my butt. To make it worse it is the side I usually sleep on and that has caused a lot of awakenings throughout the night. Then I can’t get to sleep because so many things are running through my mind. I don’t know how I managed to teach and have a life at the same time. I just cannot seem to get things done anymore.

Well enough moaning and groaning – I’m off to get something done! I have bank statements to reconcile, bills to pay and tax information to sort. Hope you are doing something fun with your day.

Tidbit Tuesday

Just another sloppy, unedited installment of the random thoughts rolling around in my head today…

Glad that we escaped the 3-6 inches of snow they predicted although being able to stay home would be nice. It has just begun to snow a bit – not sure what they are calling for now but I don’t think it will be too bad until maybe this evening. Hopefully it will hold off till late.

My son and I are supposed to go to a reception at the Tech Shop. He received a scholarship for a year’s membership and there is a reception tonight to meet the people who awarded the scholarships. It is a fantastic opportunity – he is attending a 16 week Saturday session to learn about the different machines and create some projects. Later in the summer he will be able to attend a week long camp and he can go in on certain Saturdays to work on projects. So far he has been having a blast.

I’m back to struggling a bit because I dithered around too long and had to make a choice between the lesser of two evils and I’m not sure I made the right choice. I’ve chosen to help keep my husband’s dream alive; keep my son in a school that I feel will give him a good chance at being successful through its academic requirements and its post high school financial support; and stay in my(still unfinished) dream house. It means I’m no longer looking for my dream job instead I’m going back to helping my husband in his business.  I’m not sure how long this will go on but I know that I’m setting boundaries this time. It will not be an open ended adventure. Still not sure what that is going to look like but I’m working on it.

It looks like my uncle will not be the executor of my dad’s will. We were  pretty sure that would be the case but now it is definite. I may need to go down to help out – it depends on my sister and how she decides to handle her financial situation. I need to look into some legal issues to make sure that we are making the best decisions for both of us.

I’m also trying to prepare for a wedding. My daughter has decided to get married next month. It will be a small affair and she doesn’t want much help from me but there are a few things she would like me to help with and of course I need to find something to wear.

What’s going on in your neck of the woods? Leave me a comment and let me know how you are.

 

 

Dad

So, as I mentioned in my last post, I have had a major disruption in my life recently.  My Dad went into the hospital in late January and on January 29th(the day  I was to begin my 100 day challenge), my sister called to say that the doctor didn’t think our dad would make it through the night.  I threw together a few things and left.

When I got to the hospital, Dad was alert and aware but his oxygen and blood pressure were unstable. The infection had become/had been ?? a blood infection. He had been scheduled to have tests done but they were unable to perform the tests.  It became clear that it was time to move to comfort measures and let things run their course.

We brought him home and had hospice come in.  We were given an estimate of 3-5 days but he lasted just over two weeks. Luckily for us he had only minor pain at the very end and just slipped peacefully away. I can not say enough about the hospice staff. They took care of so many little details, provided us with necessary supplies and were in daily to check on dad and give him a bath.  He was really touched by the pinning ceremony they did in honor of  his Army service . We were truly blessed to have them during this time.

Between caring for my dad, searching for paperwork(insurance polices, the will, veteran service info), helping my sister to begin to clear out the house, traveling and the funeral, I have gotten way off track yet again. My original 100 day challenge has been scrapped and I’ve been working on a 50 day challenge involving getting rid of one item per day and getting the business and personal tax information together. I’m giving myself some grace and not focusing on health as much right now. I need to see tangible results each day and that isn’t as easy when I’m working on my health.

Well, that’s a quick recap of my February, what’s been happening in your neck of the woods?? Let me know by leaving a comment.

I am…

I am trying to get back on track after a major disruption to my life(more about that in a future post)

I am listening to the wind chimes and enjoying the sound

I am seeing bright sunshine after morning thunderstorms

I am looking forward to our church’s Ash Wednesday dinner and service

I am planning to focus on the discipline of prayer throughout this Lenten season

I am enjoying the smell of the lemon tree blossoms as Marco, our cat, brushes up against the tree

I am savoring a Hershey Kiss – trying to make it last as long as I can to enjoy that chocolatey sensation

I am working on a plan to make some progress with my one word 2017 challenge

I am reading  The Power of When by Michael Breus, PhD and trying to decide if I am a Lion or a Bear although with recent events I have been a Dolphin

 

Tag Cloud