Just another installment of the random thoughts rolling around in my head today…
So much in my head today – I hardly know where to start. How about with pests? There are teeny, tiny little ants in the sink in my bathroom. They aren’t anywhere else and I can’t figure out where they are coming from.
The mice are still here with poop everywhere. One of them gnawed through a waterline in the mudroom and there was water everywhere when we got home from church. After cleaning that up and installing a new metal line, we can’t get the recycling bins to slide back in. UGH.
I’m having second thoughts/major qualms about leaving for ten days – there is so much financial work to finish, preparations for food/laundry/child care to take care of and then the big hurdle – the family drama. I just don’t know if now is the right time for me to be gone. I feel like I am asking too much of others and that makes me uncomfortable. It is really hard for me to ask for help. I always wonder what people are thinking about me when I need help. I know that sometimes I say yes even though I want to say no and I wonder if they are doing the same. It just makes it hard for me to do it.
The family drama is keeping me in a state of limbo – I need to make a decision and then start taking the steps that follow from that decision. Not having any time to be alone lately isn’t helping either. It is really hard for me to function without that daily alone time. Perhaps I should have stuck to my earlier life plan – becoming a nun. Although there is the big problem of not being Catholic nor wanting to convert that kept me from following that plan.
Oh, well, I need to get moving on something. I’ll be back sometime to let you know how things work out.