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Just another unedited, sloppy installment of the random thoughts rolling around in my head today…

I had an interview for the part time horticulturist job and overall it went well. I didn’t make any glaring mistakes – at least I don’t think I did. After talking with them and learning about their training program, I am sure I could handle the duties. It s benefits are the part time hours, working with plants, not needing to worry about the boy being alone for hours after school and minimal interaction with other people. The drawback is that it isn’t the fabric store job.

Yes, I still can not get that job out of my head/heart. I talked with a friend and with my daughter about it and they both think I should try for it. However I just can’t seem to get it together. Every time I try to put a resume together I am struck by my lack of qualifications. I know you are supposed to sell yourself, tell why the employer would benefit from hiring you but all I can think about is how I would benefit. The girl says just go down and talk to them. It is a small company not a chain or franchise and they will be willing to hear you out. It sounds so easy – why am I having such difficulty??

Maybe because it means stepping out of my comfort zone. Or maybe I ‘d rather have the comfort of believing I could have gotten the job if only I had tried harder versus being not hired and knowing that I failed. Maybe I’m still not ready to be an adult and take on the responsibility of doing a “real” job and living up to someone else’s expectations.  Or maybe I’m just hoping for my “prince” to save the day and let me go on living a life of relative ease.

UGH! too much thinking going on here – I’m going to head out to the garden to pull some weeds and get some satisfaction from actually accomplishing something.

Till next time I’m hoping that wherever you are and whatever you are doing, you are having a great day.

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