Once I got the diagnosis I went on antibiotics and a probiotic. I still didn’t have much of an appetite and was having a hard time having enough energy to do more than the basics each day. One bright spot was that I wasn’t really missing the sugar/chocolate and I had been sure that was going to be a big problem for me. I lost a ton of weight – not eating will do that for you. In fact I was able to get down to my goal weight but unfortunately I didn’t stay there.
On the follow up visit with the doctor I learned that I have some food sensitivities most notably peanut and whey. To a lesser degree I showed some sensitivity to eggs and milk products. I had a severe candida problem and some heavy metals in my system. I was advised to add back in oranges, soy and corn and see how I did with them. I also got a prescription for natural thyroid meds, a Vitamin D supplement and some stuff help rebuild my stomach.
I had a period of feeling loads better – in fact I couldn’t remember feeling so energetic and pleased with life. I started doing some exercising – nothing hard core but more than I had done in a long time. I even joined a club and started swimming. It was amazing but I have started to slip lately. I’m having trouble sticking to my diet. It started with an event for church. We were asked to make cookies and DS wanted to make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. I told myself I would just have one but of course that didn’t work. Then later in the week was Halloween and I was tempted again. I ate way too much chocolate and I’m still having trouble with cravings. Some days it just feels like a constant struggle, I get discouraged and then I’m falling off the wagon and then beating myself up about it. It’s a cycle I can’t seem to break out of.
It doesn’t help that I’m having relationship struggles as well. A lot of it is typical age related stuff with my kids but it is just wearing me down. My DH and I aren’t always on the same page about how to deal with it and that adds another layer of stress to the mix. Some days I can stay positive and not dwell on it but other days it just seems overwhelming and I doubt everything I do/say/think. I just want to crawl into a hole and hide away. I keep trying to remember that these things will pass but it isn’t always easy.