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I’m doing some thinking/questioning today. Wondering why I have such a hard time sticking with something until I get it finished. In the past 2 days I’ve done some stuff in the garden but haven’t finished either one. I should go out and try top finish one of them but I don’t feel like it.

Is it ADD, a need for perfection or am I just afraid? I am very easily distracted these days. I’m constantly seeing other things that I have started and need to finish. I can’t seem to commit to stick with one thing and get it done. I just keep moving from project to project and feel disappointment, frustration and angst as I look at my piles of stuff to do.

I don’t think it is perfection I’m seeking but the older I get and the more I ponder these things, I know that part of my problem is my concern about what other people will say or think about my finished project. I worry that people will judge my work and by extension myself and I will come up lacking. I don’t believe we can achieve perfection and I am often satisfied with something that probably could use some more effort. However, I know that some people(my DH for example) are much more demanding of themselves than I am and I worry about what he is thinking about my work. I’m trying to get comfortable with the thought that his reaction does not need to change how I feel about what I’ve done. If I am pleased with my efforts that is the important thing and I can’t let him or anyone else mess with that.

All of this leads up to the fact that I did not get out in the garden so far today and now it is raining. So I went to work on my little pieces of paper and added 26 books to my wish list. My library has this nifty feature where you can create a record of books you want to read and then when ever you are ready you can request a book. The library will email you to let you know when you can pick up the book at your preferred library. I love this! Still have lots of little pieces of paper but a start has been made.

I’ll be back tomorrow with another installment in my ongoing adventures towards completion.

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